again it's been a while, i'm not quite sure what is the issue maybe is just that i'm getting bored about almost everything around me and sometimes i feel tired, i'm lacking of me writting, of meeting people and so many things. Me life, so far, goes about the money i owe to many people, i would like to run, and i mean run away, somewere i can not be found by anyone who know me, and then start over, it has always been the dream of me life, literaly desapear and invent me self a new identity, must of the time i wonder about way too many things that i souldnt, today for example i had a sort-of-weird-not-too-conviced-date with a guy i met over an aplication and i found my self trying to make conversation with someone that i didn't share any interest, so far getting bored, don't know what is going wrong with me!, i used to love to date maybe was the day maybe was the guy (which i'm not sure, imean he was hot as hell and i presume well hung) maybe was the fact that i was over stressed because of my debts, maybe because i'm not yet ready and i'm just getting desperated, i need some extra guidace but i dont know where to look at, i do not know whether to turn left, right. Everything is just dull grey and is frustrating, i really would like to know if i'm going on the right direcction. I also miss my friends but part of me just don't like to see them, sometimes i feel jealous about the capavility of other people to move on wich of course i lack
Lately i've been dating an ex, and i certainly have issues with it, once i felt neglected and mistreated and is sort of hapenig again, i just don't know what to do, i was here before and for me to be here again under almost the same stupid circumstances is somewhere pathetic and heart breaking, i want someting true but seems like i'm asking too much or then again is just not the correct moment, recently i find myself figuring out whether or not i f**cked up a good oneback then, but then again i always find my self in dead end relationships where i give way too much away. I don't think relationships should be about that, i mean you have to change of course, but until which point it is healty to do so, maybe i'm too much of a needy guy, maybe i just need to make a better effort and try no to get to soon attached to someone after all i should have learn... something... right?
